Handling anxiety

For those of you who play tennis, you know the kind of shots where you have a lot of time to decide what to do and then you hit the ball into the net or out because you had too much time to think.

That's kind of what I'm going through now. I'm really enjoying not having medical appointments and some great weather we're having. Warm as it is, I've been able to play tennis for two hours outside a couple of times a week. I mean, just check out the weather map!

But I have an underling dread of upcoming procedures and treatments. People tell me to focus on the present and not the future, but not having been in this situation, you can't understand my feelings. Anxiety dreams about the hospital have caused disrupted sleep. Meetings at work are starting to schedule projects without me. Plans for a contractor to come in to cover for me are being made. Canceling my transit card. I feel I am fading out of the picture. Yes, I know this is temporary, but my emotions tell me otherwise.

Perhaps this is the reason I have always been an avid fitness person. It helps me on so many levels, and an article in the NYTimes added more validation for exercise helping me keep relatively sane. Besides friends and family, taking walks, playing tennis and counting repetitions maybe one of the things that gets me though this.

Have happy and safe 4th!