Reality bites!

So, up to this point, the seriousness of my diagnosis has not hit me. When they wanted to schedule a one hour appointment for a 'teach' on taking my oral chemo medication, I said, "You're kidding me, it takes an hour to tell me how to take an oral medication?" The silence on the other end of the phone made me realize I was stupid or rude. Or both, because it did take an hour for them to instruct me, not the action on swallowing it, but all of the side effects and how to counteract each one of them. Things kind of dawned on me when I had to get a refill, and my insurance didn't want me to get it from SCCA. The pharmacist at SCCA said I wouldn't want to pay for it as it cost $5,000 - $6,000 for 84 pills! The insurance company did an override, but I started to think that this stuff I'm taking must be powerful!

At this point, I have really well with the radiation and chemo. Other than some GI sensitivity, I haven't suffered from any of the side effects it took them an hour to explain to me. My schedule has not radically changed and I've been able to work and be active. I've been in a delusional state thinking that maybe this whole thing will pass like a bad dream or a cloudy sky (wait, this is Seattle, cloudy skies don't pass!). Today an appointment for a Flex-Sig came in my inbox. Then I had a message from a scheduler asking when I could set a date for my surgery. Things seemed to come crashing down on me. After surgery, the beginning of August, my way of life will change for the next 6-8 months. David said when these things came up, he felt like a condemned man. I now know how he felt. Reality bites. Bad.